Babble babble

One day I was talking to a friend and she asked me if I've ever messed up on a cake. I said, Yes..of course But nothing that I couldn't "fix". Skip up a few days later and I'm making a cake. Not the normal recipie that I usually use and I was trying to hurry so it didn't freeze enough. And THIS is what happened. The more I tried to fix it, the worse it got. It was just not frozen enough, or at all! This is when you (may or may not) curse a little, sigh really big and put it aside for little scavengers that (may or may not) live under the same roof, and then start cooking another one to freeze OVER NIGHT! End of the story....turned out MUCH MUCH MUCH better! You can see it here

 This was another cake. I took this picture because they are getting more flat and more straight. Something that excites me. AND....the fondant didn't tear! YAY!

I got a new phone for my birthday. A "myTouch". And I LOVE IT! I finally let go of my old one after 3 years and a shattered screen (hey. it still worked!) The games are pretty fantastic too. It's a race in the mornings between the little terrors on who can ask me first to play it. Usually I say no because I'M playing it! My favorite game....."Where's My Water?" Totally worth the $1 for the whole version!
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And while we're here....Let talk about Dylan. This kid is stuffed, chalk full of energy, curiosity, defiance, cuteness, and love.) But more energy than anything else. He's up before the sun. And down after I finally reside myself. And as of late, that's been pretty late. He LOVES talking to people and asking them all sorts of questions. LOVES being the center of attention and will perform as such. Can't sit still for the life of me. Church is a silent arm wrestle. Me wrestling him to sit, with my arms. (Maybe I should flex to see how big my muscles are!) He's sweet and loveable and cuddly (almost TOO much. Waking up in the night to a knee or an elbow or another head on my pillow, not something I enjoy much.) And then he can turn on a dime and be nasty. Throwing a tantrum that 99.9%  of the time, sends him to his room. He's loud too. I think this is payback because my mom always used to tell me I was loud. I didn't think it was a bad thing. And it's not really. It's just nerve wracking. And to an already tired, stressed, busy momma. It gets old REAL quick! He's a boy who is adventurous. And I have to find the patience to allow that. And I do. Sometimes.

 Ashton came up to me one morning and asked me, "does this look good"? I said, "heck yes! You look HOT!" He smiled and then got serious. "It feels weird". He's wearing his football jersey, which hangs down to his knees. Having it "tucked" in, yea, I would imagine it felt weird. So I took a picture of him so he could see how good he looked. He was smiling, really. He just has to act tough and serious in pictures. It worked because he went to school like this. During lunch break I had picked up Eli and got to get a burger. We went back to the school and parked in the parking lot) because the kids were out for recess. (I know! It's creepy and I could've sworn the duty-guard was eyeballing me the whole time I was parked there.) But Ashton was still wearing it like this. The minute he walked in the door after school, he yanked the jersey off and put something more comfortable on. Gotta hand it to him, the boys got perseverance. (As far as his looks go, that is. Actually...he's pretty good with all aspects of his life.)

 One other thing that I get to deal with. "Plugged ears". I swear, if talking to yourself wasnt looked down upon, I'd be more ok with it by now. But I'm not and I actually don't enjoy doing it. The cute side of this all. Listening to my son sing loud and off key, thinking no one can hear him.

 Monet. My sweet boy. So old. So skinny. So fragile. So sick. But Oh So cuddly. He relishes the moments I actually sit down long enough, in front of the heater, wearing my blue jeans. (Something about making my flabby legs tight enough for a firm place to lay. If I have anything else....he opts for the arm of the chair. But nonetheless near me. In front of the heater.

Rambles

Just love it when Internet is knocked out for a long time. But not really. Not that I had anything to blog about anyways. I haven't really taken very many pictures lately. I did a cake here and some cookies there, but nothing worth immortallizing with blogger.

Tidbits...I guess I could report that Mykael and Jaden went to go live with their mom. It was a mutual agreement between all parents and the two kids. I miss them terribly!!! In just the few short weeks that they've been gone, I feel like I've lost the connection I had with them through the 9 years they've been in my life. I dont doubt B's ability to raise them into great people, but as a parent, it's hard to let a child go even knowing it was for the best. Everything changed SO FAST! But they're happy and so I'm happy for them!

My 9 yr wedding anniversary came and went. We didn't really do anything. No presents. No date night. Just the same daily/nightly routine with the boys. Which is how I wanted it. 9 years. Seems like a long time. But hindsight, it flew.

Which reminds me that I'm "flying by" too. I used to be so young. How did I get so old. 32. 32. 32. 32. 32.32. maybe if I say it enough, I'll accept it. And yet I find myself drawn to the commercials and ads for "age defying" products. "Reverse the signs of aging". Good grief. I think now would be a good time to rid my home of mirrors because I would be perfectly content to just throw my hair up in a pony.
I was walking through the store, looking for a good multivitamin. (next I'll be buying a pill box for a week.) and meandered through hair care and stopped at the hair color. I gazed at all the different colors and thought, "What the heck? Why not"? SO I grabbed two boxes and went home. I really didn't think it through and messing with hair color wasn't wise. I attempted to go lighter/blonder. But it turned out more, yellow. It looks ok, but walking past a mirror, I find my self hesitate, sigh, and then keep walking. Oh well. It is what it is.

I'm on a quest. A quiet and personal one. Seeking truth and finding happiness. What IS truth? What IS happiness? Why is it so important for me right now in my life? Where is it going to take me? I haven't really come up with anything satisifying but if I don't question it, how will I know for sure. *This doesn't mean I'm going to jump off a cliff. Incase any of you think that.*

Well I'm going to try to sleep. Although that has become as illusive as being 21 again.
nighty night!

Memories of a Little Girl

Almost two weeks ago (this coming monday), my grandpa was diagnosed with Lukemia. Exactly a week to the day he was diagnosed, he died. I was fortunate enough to spend the last few days with him. Sitting with him. Caring for him. And loving him.

 For the past 30something years, I have walked through the same front door. Welcomed by the same warm greeting of two very anxious grandparents. Everything was always the same. And after awhile....it became comfortable. You knew you were at grandma and grandpa's when you looked around. And nothing had changed.

 I don't know what it was that caught my eye as a little girl, but these pictures....are what I would spend, time after time, visit after visit, looking at.

 These crystals have intrigued many children. Including my own. All with a little bit of sunlight and a slight twist of the wrist to send them spinning as tiny rainbows raced across the walls and carpet.

 I know their wedding picture never moved an inch. And I remember looking at it. But it wasn't until recently that I REALLY looked at it. They were a gorgeous couple! When before...as a child....they weren't "grandpa and grandma" in it. So it was kind of irrelevant to the little me. The picture next to it....was.

 Of course....they always had a place to sit. But back when...there were cow hides that would flap in the back as the chair was rocked.

 Grandma's collection. Little denim kids. This is but a fraction of what she had.

 I remember playing with these old magnets. Each bottle and all three bears come out.

When we arrived late at night, these stairs would loom above me as we were sent straight to bed. I was scared to climb them and scared to come down them. So I would slide down them. I really didn't want to fall down them. The carpet was/is velvety smooth, which made it easier.

 Another, always there, but never thought anything of it. I realized this last trip that it just may be a souvenier my dad brought back from Mexico on his mission. Never asked him about it. Maybe I will now.

 Same bed. Same rug. Same chair. Same mirror and light.

 We, girls, stayed in this room. Never appreciated the pictures till this trip.

Looking out the window to the back yard. That long wooden walkway made the most distinct sound when grandpa's quick abrupt step walked along it, with his cowboy boots.

Now that they are both gone, I realize that this will all fade away and never be the same. It's hard to choke that realization down and I'm grateful for what it brought into my life all these years.

I've missed my grandma. I already miss my grandpa. And I will miss all of this.

*Alisha has pictures of my grandparents on her blog that she put together. Check it out, if you'd like. 

The day trip the kids just couldn't thank us enough for.

You reach a point in your routine that a getaway trip becomes vital. And this particular day. It didn't matter, it HAD to happen. We spent the morning cleaning. And when dad got home from school. We were outta here! I kept tell them we were going to go to the mountains, but they assumed just up the road. But I've had my sight on a particular area for awhile now and I didn't care that it took an hour to get there.

 Nobody challenged my decision. So when we got to Daniel's Summit, it wasn't what I was hoping for because the peak fall colors had already come and gone and the trees were mostly bare, but the day was nice, sunny, and peaceful.

 I asked a lady at the gift shop for a nice trail and she pointed out a direction we could go. So we went the opposite direction. (She pointed us DOWN the mountain into a ravine-ish area and there was snow. I needed to keep in the sun as much as possible.

We happend upon these beautiful horses and chilled with them. My love for horses is kind of in my blood, so I didn't care if we were trespassing like Jared thought. They are actually pack horses that common folk, like ourselves, can 'rent' to ride up a trail for the day or so. And they're weren't any trespassing signs that we could see.

 AND...if we were, nobody met us with the tip of thier shotgun, so we were good. I just love the coloring on this black and white one.

 Our "hike" consisted of meandering along a well traveled dirt road and posing in the aspens. I was needing to flex my cameras muscles that hadn't been used in a while.

 The camera kept coming back to Kael, and she nicely abliged when she noticed Jared pointing it in her general direction. Sometimes one of my little stinks made an appearance. But only to be a stink.

 I have no idea what he was trying to do, but he really thought he was being sneaky. Even though Jared was plotting the whole thing off to the side.

 Nothing like riding a wooden fence. Brings back memories of Idaho.

 Always running AWAY from me!

 Nice pose Kael. In the background is Strawberry resevoir. A lake I have grown to love from the MANY trips to Vernal and back.

 He found a full bundle of sticks that he requested I pack back to the car so we could bring them home. Which I did. Because it's Eli. And that is all.

 Trying to be artsy fartsy and take black and whites of old dead twisted trees. I was having to lay on this log to get the shot of one such trees.

 growth among the dead

 We love Uncle Coley. A Lot! And every chance we get, to show that love. Jaden pins it right on the head.

 Batting snow

 Couldn't let his big brother have one up on him. So he batted as well.

 Old dead twisty wood.

 Beautifully creepy.

 There were about 3 old tractors parked spuradically around the mountain we were on. Made for great shots.

 Weird when your baby isn't a baby anymore.

 A late lunch at the logde. YUMMY And the log decor....loved it!

 On the way home I saw the coloring of the brush and thought it looked like a rainbow. Can you see it?

Jaden, on the way home, said, "I know I keep saying this, but I just have to say thanks again. For taking us."

Perfect end to a perfect day. This is Deer creek. And that snow capped moutain is Timpanoogas. Love that I wake up to that. E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y!

Just venting....

I was reading a friend's post with pics of her little one at the dentist...and instead of writing a post on her comments page, I figured I'd just come here and share with all of you Ash's nightmare of an experience. He had been complaining about a tooth hurting so we took him in. He had been in a few months back for a checkup and I knew there were a few "problem" areas. (Yes it took me that long to get him in, just list it under the other terrible parenting things I've done in the past and will do in the future...) So we got him an apt with a dentist. I guess when the dentist people come to the school every year they don't explain what could happen when you go to the dentist because once the dentist laid him back and started shoving tools in his mouth, Ashton freaked!! But held it together...for a minute. He wasn't "introduced" to the tools that would be used. He was told to raise a hand if it started to hurt. He held up the wrong hand and the dentist rudely corrected him.

I'm totally jumping ahead....So I'll back up. We are taken back and the assistant tries to confirm with me that  I wanted silver. NO! I want the white! NO SILVER! I thought I made that clear, and apparently didn't. You'll see why later. The dentist comes in and says he'd need a root canal. UGH! the bottom of my stomach gave way after that. And the feeling of a nonqualified parent instantly replaced that. I will take FULL credit for not being harder on my sugar addicted child about brushing regularly, but that doesn't justify a dentist to get all jerk like on my SON! I assure you now, he brushes twice a day and even encourages his siblings to do likewise. But then who wouldn't after a visit like this.

As we're sitting, I hear the dentist on a patient next to us. An older man, and he is asking him something. The man doesn't respond and the dentist keeps asking, insisting on an answer. Finally the man answers and the dentist then goes off about wanting to know why the man didn't answer. Totally lecturing this poor man. He seriously wouldn't let it go. I felt embarrassed for the man and the way he was being treated.

It was then our turn and the assistant came back in with a box full of silver crowns. (I didn't know that's what they were for, so i didn't question it.) And she drops them, scattering them EVERYWHERE! Mistakes happen so I start to pick them up, she said not to. Ash then got the dreaded shots and was left to get all numb like. It was funny watching him make fish lips and smacking them together and poking his cheeks. Hard!

They come in and instantly shoved a drill, mirror, water, and suction in his mouth. OH and a wedge to keep his mouth open. He freaked a little and started shaking. Mr. Dentist sternly told Ash he "can't do that" and if it hurt, to raise his hand. SO, he raised his hand. But it was the wrong hand. Apparently the dentist didn't like that hand and corrected Ashton's mistake. SO, he raised the other hand. "Does that hurt?" he asked Ash and he shakes his head yes. He continues to drill and asks Ashton if it hurts. And Ashton continues to raise his hand. Dentist man was getting annoyed with how much Ash was raising his hands and even tested it. He would, without touching the tooth, turn the drill on and ask if it hurt. When Ash raised his hand, he and Miss Assistant would laugh. He took the drill out of the mouth and did it again. Ash said yes, then shook it, no. Again, the two nut heads thought that was funny and stuck all those tools in again and started drilling.

Ashton was crying, shaking, and clenching. Totally scared to death! ANYBODY could see that. Unless of course you were the dentist and his assistant. When it came time for putting a crown on, they pulled the silver things out and stuck it in his mouth, DROPPED it, then panicked a little, telling Ashton not to swallow, "don't move", and trying to snatch it out with tweezers. (Ashton has a terrible gag reflex, just like me! And I was waiting for it and everything else from the day to come up.) Finally they sat him up and told him to spit it out. After choking on it, he spat it out and was allowed to take a break. He saw the blood  on his bib and got worried. The doctor did nothing to sooth his worries or explain to him what was going on. Just another shot, and another filling to torture through.

This continued on until he recieved two SILVER filings, leaving behind a tear streaked face, and a stupid cheap toy that broke an hour after we got home. Didn't even get a toothbrush. (Not that he needed one. I just thought that was part of the deal.)

The last thing the dentist said to me was, "he probably needed nitrus, so when you bring him in next make sure you mention that." YA THINK!????
And the last thing the assistang said/asked me, "do you want me to go ahead and schedule apts for the rest of his work"?

Uhhh...."NO, I'll just call you later." (or not.)

I don't know why I didn't stand up for my son and explain to the Dentist that this was his first cavity visit, or tell the Dentist to explain to Ashton what he was doing or putting in his mouth, or insist on the white fillings like I had wanted in the first place, or to talk nicer to my son, or even request a little compassion for Ashton's sake....But I'm still angry now and HOPE I get a "survey call' asking me how my/our visit went. It was such a bad experience but wonder if I was being overly observant/sensitive with it being my child. Although that dentist definitely proved to this child that going to the dentist is a very bad thing. I'm gonna need a saint to rectify this one.

Today is the day...I guess.

As soon as I changed Dylan's diaper this morning, he said he needed to "pee in toilet". I never object to that so off he ran. Nothing came out. So I put a diaper on him and he ran off to play. A while later he says he has to pee again and runs to the bathroom, rips his diaper off and I guess he peed because he came running back to tell me. (I was having to cook something) I praise him and he runs off to play....naked. A minute later he yells at me again and runs to the bathroom. At this point I'm figuring he's just playing so I don't give it another thought. He then comes running in yelling excititedly that his poop came out. I ran back to the bathroom, scared to find something unpleasant. Yup...he did, but no unpleasantness. I get him cleaned up and put "underwears" on. I'm not going to stop this one!!!!

Since then he has ran to the bathroom two more times. No accidents. (Fingers crossed!)

Since my camera broke, I feel like I've had nothting to blog about. But I'm going to sit down and bring you up to speed. Without pictures. My camera is in being fixed so I guess that's reason enough to post.

Ashton and his team has done so well with football. Up until this last saturday they had only lost one game. The game on saturday was a battle for the number one team to beat with playoffs. But they lost. Barely! 1:30 left to make a goal. 8 yards from the endzone....but the other team held them back. They boys played really well that day. They now have to continue winning until they face this team for the championships.

My big giant pumpkin is still connected to the vine. I'm not sure that it's growing anymore. But we're going to wait a little longer. Maybe at least until the vine dies. It weighs in at 71lbs. and measure 59in. around. Not huge, but not small either. The second largest pumpkin weighed in at 34lbs. That one is still definitely growing!

With canning and harvesting this year. I bottled: Tomatoes, Dilly beans, Salsa, and Pears. I still am waiting on my grapes to sweeten up to make jelly with. We have dried potatoes and apples. My next canning attempt will be applesauce.

In the last 3 months, Jared has lost 30 lbs. His method was exercise and smaller porportions. When Ash has his football practices (3times a week) Jared would just walk and run around the field for the 2 hours Ash would practice. I'm really proud of him. He also goes out on some nights with the kids and runs. It's fantastic for me, because he wears them out right before bed and makes nighttime routines that much smoother.

The road construction in front of my house is even worse than it was before. (I didn't think that possible) But the road has been since torn up and there's a lot of dirt ALL the time. And cars are now coming (after construction crews go home) and peel out in the dirt. Really bugs me! They are also leveling the lane where they want to extend the freeway lane and it's like THISCLOSE! It's less than 100 meters from my doorstep! With winter months coming up quick, I know that crews will work less, therefore prolonging it all. OR...if i'm lucky. Take 3 months off while a beautiful blanket of white covers up all the ugly.

Kid update: Mykael, I believe, has settled into junior high nicely. Parent teacher conferences showed that as well. Jaden is living up his last year of elementary and "ruling the school". Ashton incorporates football into EVERYTHING. School work, recess, cleaning the house, running with dad, and constantly tries to talk his little brothers into "playing" with him. Eli LOVES preschool. He got into the program they have at the school and his teacher adores him. I have to say his paintings are really cool! Dylan had a hard time adjusting to loosing Eli to school, but quickly got over it when he realized it was just him and I.

I feel like I need to say, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year now! So I'll just end it before I get any more cheesy.

Oh! and my Last Supper cross-stitch...I'm still working on the table cloth! (Once every few months!) So it doesn't look any different from the last picture I posted of it....forever ago. I was hoping to have it done by the same time I started it...November. Not going to happen. I'll just be more realistic and shoot for finishing it within 2 years!

Blessed

I was doing some reflecting the other day in the shower. (Hey it's a uninterupted place). Or you could say that it was one of those moments that I realized how lucky I've been in my life with the influences that I had surrounded myself with. I have come to find that I have unknowingly collected one ore two older/wiser-than-me women that have mentored me throughout my life and even continue to do so, in the many different places I've lived, during the awkward, confusing, depressing, ignorant times of my life. And I can say that each and everyone has helped me to better understand this life experience I continue to go through.

So here's the time line.
The earliest I can remember is Elementary. Probably 4th grade. And her name was Nan (pronounced Nayne). That wasn't her real name, but that's what her grandkids called her. So I did to. I would walk home and stop at her house to eat grilled cheese sandwiches, drink red punch out of honey bears and eat sugar cubes, then go home. This one I've held onto even to this day and visit her in the care center every opportunity I have.

5th grade. Margaret. She lived across the street from us. Had 2 super cute kids. Chase and Taylor (baby girl). And I would just spend as much time as I could there. A great family that still occupies my thoughts every once in a while.

6th to 7th grade. Back in SLC and back to Nan. did the same thing as before.

After that we moved up to Idaho I "collected" Tiffany. A young women's leader. So beautiful. Kind heart. I wanted to be like her. Thanks to facebook, I've found her again. *During high school I brought her back to help me with the silly "Junior Miss Pagent". She was my backstage mom and was the first person I met backstage after the let down of not winning. Not a big deal anymore, but young teenage me...devistating.

The second move in Idaho has two different people. Nikki (high school teacher), and Debbie (best friends mom). Nikki accepted all of the high school drama I filled her in on. Debbie wrote the notes to excuse our sluffs. My second mom.

Once I left home, Concetta took my hand and guided me during my Ct. years. Advising me of what to say to the guys I was now dating so I didn't sound like some immature, emotional, desparate girl. I'm glad I listened to her. She really took me under her wing, and I didn't fight it. There were others in this section, but Concetta was the main one.

Once I came "home" I didn't really attach to anyone. But after getting married and moving again, Shiloh was added to the list. Then Taya. My sounding board for the stresses of newlywed life.

Which brings me to where I am now. The "active" one. I'm not going to name her, because she already knows who she is (I think) and I'd rather keep it that way. Maybe if I move, I'll divulge. But until then, just know that I've got one now and am relishing in all that she does for me. As little as she may think it is.

I still have contact with all but two and I have been searching and will continue to do so until I find them. They're that important to me.

Thank You Fine Women of my life.

Now that summer is officially over (for the kids) I can do sort of a re-cap, So here goes.


Garden is doing fantastic!!! Cucumbers are endless. They're the "skinless" kind. But taste just as good.


Beans are doing the best! Every week I'm getting a bigger bowl full than this one. So I have blanched and frozen till they are all done, and then I'm going to go crazy with making dilly beans. I'm still looking for a good recipie if any of you out there have one.





We've had some unusual rain storms this summer and the gutters have flooded PLENTY. On this particular day, Dylan ventured out to play in the water. The other two quickly followed suit.

You can't tell, but for some reason they only wanted to wear jackets and underwear. Whatever works, I suppose.

Mykael started Junior High! And for Gym class she needed clothes. SO I took her to D.I. (equivalent to a second hand store) to find something that would work. Requirements were white t-shirt with name on it and shorts. We found two white shirts for $2.00, the running skirt for $3.00 and the pants for $2.00. I wanted to do something cute with her name but didn't want to go overboard, but didn't want to go with the traditional magic marker. Walmart had these iron-on letters for $1.00. She didn't know if it had to be first and last name so I put both. First name on the front. Last name on the back butt area. I thought it was cute. And she even went along with the sparkles on the gray set.

Jade and Ash had thier first day yesterday and looked mighty fine I must say.

Pictures that Mykael took. I like what she sees through the lens.

This is my favorite. I like the focus on the yellow flowers in the background. But I doubt thats what she was going for, it just happened.

This is Aspen. And this is how she sleeps at night.

I found this chrysalis a little over two weeks ago. I've researched to find out what it's going to be but I'm still unsure. I thought it was a moth but moths have "cacoons" that look like white wrapped sacs, and this looks a like butterfly "chrysalis". BUT...moths take up to 8 weeks to change where as butterflys only 2. This little guy is still wrapped all up nice and cozy. Or maybe it's dead. I don't know.

An elderly lady in my ward had a birthday recently and it was suggested that a cake be made for her. I of course jumped on that and this is what I came up with. I REALLY wanted to play with the flowers, so I borrowed a friends fondant tools and had a blast. Cute stuff.