Let's be honest...

...I'm not going to finish it by Christmas. There is still WAY too much that needs to be done. Table. Food. More BODIES! Feet. And ALL THAT OUTLINING! Holy Moly that alone will take me as long as it is just to get all the color done.

Plus my pace slows more and more. I AM still working on it continually, so it's not like I've bagged it for awhile. Just been busy lately and work on it when I can.


Phew...now I feel better. Kinda felt like I was letting you down for not having more finished. When I was the one that set the limit for myself.

Thanks for understanding people. ;o)
Keep coming for updates.

Missing

I keep checking my blog for really no reason at all. Maybe it blogged itself. But the horrible reminder of the previous post has gotten to me enough that I'm pushing it down so I don't have to look at it anymore.

For those that don't already know, Kortana flew out again saturday evening and we weren't as successful this time around. Many hours have been spent looking for her. And I now find myself constantly staring at the trees when I leave the house or even looking out the window.

The first night was SO hard for me to even come in because I KNEW she was out there and waiting for me to find her. But it was cold. I was wet. And had kids to put to bed. We found her once, in a tree but our attempt to get her out resulted in her disapearing for what is going on day 3. Really hard to see a bird flying in a dark sky. Outside the beams from our flashlights and spotlight.

We were SOOOO close. And then she was gone.

I spent most of that first night laying in bed, wishing I could've done things differently. Knowing it was snowing, wondering about her. I even got up to go stare out the window sometime past midnight. I would've thrown my snow clothes back on if I knew it would result in a good way. But it would've just lead me back to the many prints I left many times before. Where there were trees, I would look.

It may seem silly to you how I'm reacting to "just a little bird". And to be honest, I'm kinda suprised as well. I DID love her but am just now learning how important she was to me and my daily routine. It's quiet now. And I don't like it. Even with the noise from the kids.

I miss her flying to my shoulder and purring softly in my ear.
I miss how she would INSIST on eating my food. Even if she had to stand in it. (the little pain in the butt!)
I miss her calling for me when I was away from the room for a long time. With her flying into the room I was in.
I miss her talking. How cool it was to teach an animal to talk.
I even miss her pooping on my head, .
And her regurgitatied seeds stuck to the mirror on my fire place. She was a good "momma" to the bird in the mirror. Weird.
And I will most certainly miss her "preening" my hair.
I will miss her "baths" in the sink when I would wash the dishes. (I do have video of her talking and bathing and will post it once my computer allows me to. I've tried MANY times but still won't.)
And I will miss how people became so intrigued with her when they came to visit.
She truly was extrordinary.
***********************************************************
In hopes of lifting my spirits. I was given a new parakeet. A little yellow baby. It's still too soon. But to have a bird to perch on my finger is nice. It's not Kortana. But this one is a sweet heart.

We named her Selene. She's still so young that she lets us pet her and hold her in our hand. Last night I was sitting in my chair and she cuddled right up between my arm and side and kept trying to burrow her head deeper into my armpit. Too cute.

Then today when I had her on my shoulder walking around she would hide up under my ponytail as if it were her momma's wing. You'd see her little head popping out as I went about my business.

She doesn't chirp much and I hope that changes with time. I like the noise and "singing".

I'm not giving up on looking for Kortana. Probably never will. Walking down the streets. Laying in a park on a warm summer day or just driving will always pull my eyes toward the branches.

My little Kortana bird pulled a fast one on us yesterday and it's only through luck, love, and frigid temperatures that she is still here w us.

The kids were coming in and out of the house so often, she decided she wanted to go out and see what the big deal was and slipped past when, once again someone was going out. (We let her roam the house throughout the day.) She soared right out and up, over the back of the house (she escaped through the back door for those of you who wanted to know.).

Mykaael and I ran after her, screaming, "Kortana got out!" launching Jared and the boys into a panic as well. She had flown over into my neighbors huge TALL trees. We were all yelling, "WHERE IS SHE?" "CAN YOU SEE HER?" "RIGHT THERE! I see her!" "SHE WENT THAT WAY!" "I CAN'T SEE HER!"... and other stuff like that. We were purring, calling/whistling, and saying, "Kortana pretty bird" in our sweetest voices to try and coax her down to us. She started chirping back at my whistling. (She does that when she "calls" for me in the house when I leave the room.) And tried to fly down but then took a turn towards the freeway and my heart dropped. BUT......thankfully.....turned right back around when our panicked excitment elevated. Trying to manuever through the branches to get to us, proved to be harder for her than what any normal bird could do. So she opted for a smaller apple tree in the back of the yard to land in till we could rescue her. Mykael jumped the fence and started to climb the tree. Jared decided that I needed to go as well, so with all the agility I could muster, I scaled that fence and pounced over it like a stalking cat. (I can make sick jokes now because she's home safe and my heart rate is now back to normal.)

When I got to the tree Kortana was definitely shaking cold, fluffed up and scared, and wet. Mykael was having a hard time climbing a tree that was covered in snow and was trying to coax her out with a tortilla. I reached my hand up and called to her and she attempted to fly down to me, but landed on Mykael instead. (Those branches were really throwing her off.) I told Mykael to, "Grab Her!" Even if she threw a fit. Her struggle lasted only a second, and then was content staying wrapped in Mykael's warm hands till she was warm and safe at home.

So that's just what we did. Rushed her home and when we got into the house, she flew right to her cage where she stayed for a few hours. Even when I tried to let her out, she hopped right back in. I worry that this small but frightening moment of freedom will only turn into more curiosity once the terror has left her. Or when the weather warms up. Whichever comes first.

For now, "STOP! Kortana! DON'T LET HER OUT!!!" Signs have been posted at every door leading to the outside.

It really would've been sad if she never came back. We all have gotten quite attached to her.

Say what?!

"I just love making snowflakes. It's so......indictafied." -Ashton
"Indictafied?" -mom
"Yes, In-DIC-ta-fied!" -Ashton

(Can someone help me out? I don't know THAT big word.)

BabySteps

I got past the difficult part and I'm good now. (Till I reach another difficult part.) I'm liking how it's turning out. I'm getting excited to see all the men in there.